New Year's Resolutions!!
Jan. 2nd, 2012 09:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shiratoI usually don't do them at all because I know I won't follow through on them, or at least not for very long. But giving up before starting is even worse, isn't it...
SO OKAY HERE I GO! In no particular order:
• Get back on track with diet/exercising. After remembering that today was, indeed, the second day of 2012, I got on this right away!! So far, one day! Yeahhh! LET'S KEEP GOING!!
• Post/comment here on DW. I was thinking at work today that I... really miss blogging like this. Even though I stand by my earlier statement... somewhere, that I probably forgot how to write one, or more specifically, what to write for one, I WILL TRY MY BEST!! YEAHHHH
• Try to draw more and best case scenario, more consistently. As in time-wise, not quality-wise though of course the latter would be a nice bonus. To up this one even further, I'd specifically like to continue making progress with the manga I want to try making, and then BEST BEST CASE SCENARIO, start making it! Today I think I finalized a second character at work. The good news is that I'm still pretty excited about all of this even though it's been 2-3 and maybe even 4 weeks since I'd originally gotten the inspiration for it? I will take this as a good sign for now, but I'm sort of trying to pace myself with brainstorming and yet... speed up the pace just a bit so something actually comes out of it.
• Focus on living up to my ideals while not overwhelming myself with them. This is another art thing, though it's kind of true for me as a whole, too. But focusing on art for now!... Yeah. I let myself get depressed pretty easily when all I can do is compare myself to others or sometimes even just my own ideals. I have this awesome image in my mind, and while I don't necessarily hate what transfers to paper, it's far from that ideal... which actually tends to depress me more somehow? I guess I feel like if I can think it up, I should be able to convey it, but I just need to accept my current limits— keep striving for improvement! but accept those limits and work with them towards improvement. Basically, I need to learn to enjoy my work for what it is now or else forget satisfaction, I'll just completely take all the fun out of drawing, and that's certainly no good.
• Take that last resolution and apply it to RP! If I think about it, it's essentially the same problem!? Except it's kind of scarier since it's a group activity and I cannot help but feel that I let people down or I'm boring and ruining their fun so it's just super scary to me. And I know I've always sort of felt that way, but somehow in the last year or so, it became overwhelmingly scary and I'd like to... lose that feeling. I wish I had a better way to make myself suck it up and get over it and just go out there and have fun, and I'm sort of pushing myself to do it that way, but ahhhhh yeah, resolution. Work on it, figure something out. /o\
• Look for a new job. Mine sucks and that's such an understatement. But to be honest, I've been having these feelings of embarrassment again where it's hard to even fill out new applications because I can just like imagine employers getting it and laughing at me? I don't know why this should matter, since if it were true, it's not like I'd ever know... But I guess I'm worried more about getting an interview and then completely embarrassing myself when they would tell me that I'm ridiculously underqualified for what they want. I've kind of been toying with the idea of applying to some nice type jobs, something a bit more than retail... But I doubt I'd get it, and it stops me from trying. I suppose at this point even any average retail job is better than what I've got, but... I don't know. Getting new jobs is really scary. But again, I have to do it.
EDIT:: ALSO SEW MORE because I do enjoy it and get scared of ruining things when I take too much time away! Which also reminds me I should get working on cosplays for ACen already because I know me, but... No money from work right now ehhh 8(
OKAY this should be good for now. I can already say my resolution for NEXT year will be to have less resolutions—
but yeah maybe... I can fulfill at least one of them!! Haha /o\;;
SO OKAY HERE I GO! In no particular order:
• Get back on track with diet/exercising. After remembering that today was, indeed, the second day of 2012, I got on this right away!! So far, one day! Yeahhh! LET'S KEEP GOING!!
• Post/comment here on DW. I was thinking at work today that I... really miss blogging like this. Even though I stand by my earlier statement... somewhere, that I probably forgot how to write one, or more specifically, what to write for one, I WILL TRY MY BEST!! YEAHHHH
• Try to draw more and best case scenario, more consistently. As in time-wise, not quality-wise though of course the latter would be a nice bonus. To up this one even further, I'd specifically like to continue making progress with the manga I want to try making, and then BEST BEST CASE SCENARIO, start making it! Today I think I finalized a second character at work. The good news is that I'm still pretty excited about all of this even though it's been 2-3 and maybe even 4 weeks since I'd originally gotten the inspiration for it? I will take this as a good sign for now, but I'm sort of trying to pace myself with brainstorming and yet... speed up the pace just a bit so something actually comes out of it.
• Focus on living up to my ideals while not overwhelming myself with them. This is another art thing, though it's kind of true for me as a whole, too. But focusing on art for now!... Yeah. I let myself get depressed pretty easily when all I can do is compare myself to others or sometimes even just my own ideals. I have this awesome image in my mind, and while I don't necessarily hate what transfers to paper, it's far from that ideal... which actually tends to depress me more somehow? I guess I feel like if I can think it up, I should be able to convey it, but I just need to accept my current limits— keep striving for improvement! but accept those limits and work with them towards improvement. Basically, I need to learn to enjoy my work for what it is now or else forget satisfaction, I'll just completely take all the fun out of drawing, and that's certainly no good.
• Take that last resolution and apply it to RP! If I think about it, it's essentially the same problem!? Except it's kind of scarier since it's a group activity and I cannot help but feel that I let people down or I'm boring and ruining their fun so it's just super scary to me. And I know I've always sort of felt that way, but somehow in the last year or so, it became overwhelmingly scary and I'd like to... lose that feeling. I wish I had a better way to make myself suck it up and get over it and just go out there and have fun, and I'm sort of pushing myself to do it that way, but ahhhhh yeah, resolution. Work on it, figure something out. /o\
• Look for a new job. Mine sucks and that's such an understatement. But to be honest, I've been having these feelings of embarrassment again where it's hard to even fill out new applications because I can just like imagine employers getting it and laughing at me? I don't know why this should matter, since if it were true, it's not like I'd ever know... But I guess I'm worried more about getting an interview and then completely embarrassing myself when they would tell me that I'm ridiculously underqualified for what they want. I've kind of been toying with the idea of applying to some nice type jobs, something a bit more than retail... But I doubt I'd get it, and it stops me from trying. I suppose at this point even any average retail job is better than what I've got, but... I don't know. Getting new jobs is really scary. But again, I have to do it.
EDIT:: ALSO SEW MORE because I do enjoy it and get scared of ruining things when I take too much time away! Which also reminds me I should get working on cosplays for ACen already because I know me, but... No money from work right now ehhh 8(
OKAY this should be good for now. I can already say my resolution for NEXT year will be to have less resolutions—
but yeah maybe... I can fulfill at least one of them!! Haha /o\;;
(no subject)
Date: 2012-01-03 10:18 pm (UTC)The idea of getting a new job is scary! My fears are mostly the same as you mentioned. But, you know, when you say things like "I doubt I'd get it" that tends to become and excuse not to try new things. I say go for any jobs you want to try! The worst thing that's going to happen is you won't get it, and even if that does happen, all that means is you try again.
Don't discourage yourself before you try something! There's another good resolution for you.